It’s Thanksgiving: Time for Gratitude

In our last blog, I wrote about being thankful.  While I am thankful for many people and experiences in my life, it is sometimes very difficult for clients to express their own gratitude.  Many tend to focus on material things or on negative aspects of their lives or they see positive situations in a negative light.  There are many benefits to helping them learn to recognize the positive things in their lives

Back in the spring, LeeAnne, Theresa and I attended a conference through Learning and the Brain that was called The Science of Positive Emotions, Gratitude, and School Success.  This three-day conference was one of the most up-lifting conferences we have ever attended.  Topics included brain-functioning, resilience, empathy, grit, gratitude, and dealing with stress.  One of the sessions, From Grateful Students to Great Schools: The Promise of Gratitude in Education was presented by Giacomo Bono, PhD.  Dr. Bono spoke about benefits of gratitude which included improved mental health, improved physical health, better social relationships, improved conduct and emotional regulation, and more hope.

As we learned throughout many sessions of that conference, the more people practice gratitude, the more ingrained it becomes.   Some activities that can help foster gratitude in our children include:

Ø Helping children to develop supportive, trusting relationships

Ø Helping children to recognize positive aspects of their lives

Ø Helping children to do realistic self-assessments recognizing both strengths and needs

Ø Helping children to recognize intentional actions that they and others have done to be kind to others

Ø Keeping a gratitude journal

Ø Writing letters or notes to express thanks to others

Ø Helping children be more aware of stating things in a positive manner

Ø Helping children to recognize negative situations they have dealt with and overcome

Ø Reading books that demonstrate people showing kindness to others and discussing the feelings that would result

Ø Helping children to demonstrate kindness to others

Ø Focusing on activities and time spent together rather than material things

In our waiting room for the month of November, we have a gratitude tree for our clients to cover with leaves that tell what they are grateful for.  We will also be gathering gently used toys, books, games, clothes, household items, etc. to donate to the Fund to Benefit Children and Youth. As a part of the donations, clients are given the opportunity to help put together treats for children who are less fortunate than themselves. In addition to helping our clients work on perspective-taking, following directions, sequencing, etc., they have the opportunity to show kindness to others while developing their own gratitude.   

For additional reading about developing gratitude, consider the book Making Grateful Kids: The Science of Character Building by Jeffrey J. Froh and Giacomo Bono.    

Carol Walck, MS, CCC/SLP

It’s Thanksgiving! What are You Thankful For?

It’s almost Thanksgiving, the one time of the year so many of us sit around and give thanks.  “What are you thankful for?” How many of us ask our children that question at Thanksgiving?  How many children give the perfunctory answers, “my family”, “my house”, or “my friends”.  More often however, it seems children and young adults are answering material things such as, “my I-Pad”, “my phone” or other electronics.  Going beyond the answers that people stereotypically give, there are so many things to be thankful for that we experience in our lives on a daily basis. 

In addition to being thankful for our own families we are also thankful for the many families we have worked with and continue to work with over the years.  In a previous blog, LeeAnne talked about what Audrey taught her about being a parent of a “child” with special needs.  LeeAnne, Theresa, and I have also been very fortunate to have jobs where children, young adults, adults, parents and other professionals have taught us so many things and have given us so many gifts of knowledge and experiences; for that we are thankful. 

Our clients and their families have shown us how to be more patient, flexible, and accepting; to constantly expand our knowledge base, and to become more grounded at times.  Even though our job is to support and teach our clients, so often our clients support and teach us.  From the time an 8-year-old told me, “Miss Carol, you need to learn that you cannot do everything” at a time when I was very overwhelmed.  When I had told that same client (who I had really encouraged to try to overcome various challenges) that I was going to do a Polar Plunge to challenge myself, he kept telling me that he knew I could accomplish this task. I found out the wind chill was going to be around 7° that day and considered backing out, but I knew that young man had faith in me.  I also realized I had the choice of backing out and demonstrating to this young man that I could push him but not push myself; back out and lie to him, which I could not live with; or meet my challenge.  As I ran into the ocean that day, I could hear his encouragement in my mind saying, “You can do it, Miss Carol!” It was because of him that I met a personal challenge! 

Recently a young man, who has a difficult time recognizing perspectives of others, realized he was going to be having a session the evening of my birthday.  When his mother offered to bring in dinner for us, he decided we should have salads instead of his preferred McDonald’s meal because he knows that I love salads.   In addition to picking out a salad based on several of my favorite salad ingredients that he had learned about from years of our conversations and his observations, he also ate a salad for the first time ever!  What a wonderful gift he gave of himself!

How can you not be thankful when you hear a child say his first words or sentences?  Or tell his mother, “I love you”?  What an incredible feeling one gets when you see someone who recalls and verbalizes something they remembered from several years ago before they began to converse, especially when so many people assumed that his inability to speak equates with limited knowledge. Just imagine hearing a child ask for help for the first time instead of crying, hitting, screaming or cursing.

How can you not be thankful when you hear a child offer to help you with something for the first time because they observed that you are having difficulty?  (Even if that child is trying to lift you up to reach something that you cannot reach!)  Imagine the smile you would have when a child finally accepts being teased in a fun way and teases you back like the boy who was working on “Imagine if…” situations. He was given the example “Imagine if you came into my office and noticed that my desk was clean?” to which he responded, while smiling, “I could never even imagine that!”

How can you not be thankful when you see a young adult begin to ask a variety of questions to get information or to carry on a conversation years after others thought he was past the age of receiving language therapy? Or see a young adult finally being able to explain reasons for something he did or did not do and have reasons I would never think of?

I could go on and on. There are so many things to be thankful for and I am fortunate to experience these things every day when I go to work. So again I say, “It’s Thanksgiving!  What are you thankful for?”      

-Carol Walck, MS, CCC/SLP