As I discussed in my last blog, there can be many things to consider when joining in group activities, especially when that skill has been hard to acquire. So after one becomes a part of a group, how can one stay there?
What do you need to do to be a part of the group? Is it something positive or negative? Does being a part of a group include being bullied just so one can continue to be a part of the group?
It is important to recognize the key aspects of what makes you a part of the group: decide what characteristics make you similar or different than the other people in the group, make sure you do not stand out for inappropriate reasons, and be able to be yourself rather than taking on the personalities of others or succumbing to peer pressure.
Here are some other things to think about:
Ø Are you acting like you want to be a part of the group through the use of friendly comments, gestures, expressions, and actions? Do you choose appropriate topics and words when engaging?
Ø Are you able to remember the names of people you are interacting with?
Ø Are you giving positive feedback, complimenting, and encouraging others rather than bragging about yourself and your own skills?
Ø Are you respectful of others without making fun or being critical? Do you maintain that respect by talking positively to others about the group and the people in it? Remember you are part of the group even when the group is not together. Do you acknowledge the group members, show kindness, etc. when you see them at other times?
Ø Are the people in the group respectful of you?
Ø Are you really engaging in conversations and interactions rather than using a monologue when talking?
Ø Are you really listening (not just “hearing”), processing, and retaining things that others say and talk about? Without interrupting?
Ø Are you responding appropriately to the feedback of others?
Ø Are you showing an interest in others? Do you ask questions and make comments that demonstrate that interest?
Ø Are you recognizing and accepting the perspectives and opinions of others?
Ø Are you using appropriate body language and verbal language while engaged?
Ø Are you willing/able to share when appropriate?
Ø Are you a good sport whether you are winning or losing?
Ø Are you helping to solve problems rather than creating them?
Ø Are your behaviors consistent with others in the group?
Ø Are you able to work toward a common goal?
Ø Are you willing to be flexible and try new things (within reason) as a part of the group?
Ø Are you able to be flexible with rules, following rules while recognizing that some rules can be variable but others are inflexible?
Ø Are you cooperative with the others in the group rather than trying to take over the decision-making?
Ø Are you including everyone in the group when you interact rather than only one or two people?
Ø Are you able to continue as a part of the group without compromising your values?
Being a part of a group can help us increase our circle of friends, have a feeling of acceptance, share common interests and goals, feel protected, and increase our self-esteem. Dale Carnegie said, “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” His words are very important when making individual friends or being a part of a group.
With all the blogs we have done, there is more to cover! Stay tuned for my next blog!
Carol A. Walck, M.S., CCC-SLP